Saturday, 30 June 2007

The past 6 years of my life have been leading up to this moment...



I'm excited. Enough said. I think they look absolutely stunning - despite the fact that Victoria looks like she's smuggling Right Said Fred down her corset. And I have absolutely no idea what Geri was thinking when she got dressed. They're all maturing wonderfully though.
Being a retail management whore (i.e. the one who spends their entire life working in the store, not spending in the store), one gets very little "me time", so a couple of days off in a row is a sublime treat!

However, i've found myself becoming extremely frustrated with the amount of fit boys there are in numerous fashion stores around London, compared to how many there are in my store. Zero. Oxford Circus TOPMAN and Selfridges are prime examples of 'fit stores'. Even Bershka has its very own little tanned fitty working in the basement.

You know you've got a couple of issues, when you start frequencing said stores just in the hopes of seeing the boys you like. It's also a bonus if they serve you at the cashdesk.

Unfortunately, i'm a complete tit when it comes to getting a sales assistant to notice me for reasons other than selling me a couple of t-shirts and a belt. I'm even worse when it's me on the other side of the cash-desk - my voice breaks, i start throwing hangers everywhere, and i seem to lose all control of my limbs.

Working in Knightsbridge however, that doesn't happen very often. If ever. No handsome boys venture over here. As such, there's no opportunity to 'jock block'...

'Jock Blocking': carefully timing your attack, then jumping on the till when you notice a hot guy in the queue, and stealing him for yourself, to the annoyance of your fellow gay cashiers. Whilst this is a lot of fun (come on, we work in retail), it can be extremely frustrating when you're the one being 'jock blocked'.

In other news:

...My housemate is a total cunt. I'm looking to move in august, he's a real pain in the arse. Basically, the guy has a lot of issues. When i moved to London, he seemed to think we were going to get together and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, muscle-bound skinheads aren't my niche. Also, he is bland. He has no charisma. He's like a smudge.
Anyway, since TheBoi came onto the scene, he's been a total wanker with me. I need to move.

...TheBoi came over last night and we had fantastic sex. The anal douche i bought from 'Harmony' has proven to be more useful than i'd originally anticipated. It's nice to be cleaned out pre-fuck, and means i can go for hours without suddenly feeling like my arse is going to self-combust. A blessing, because TheBoi really knows how to fuck.

Saturday, 23 June 2007

I'm glad I decided to wear shorts this morning, only to arrive back in London to torrential downpour. Note to self: don't even contemplate wearing white shorts when travelling, especially if one chooses to eat pasta salad for lunch and travel on the underground for 30 minutes.

I politely refused my nan's offer to make me sandwiches to take with me. There's nothing worse than opening a warm leather bag, and the whiff of squashed tuna sandwiches filling the train carriage. With the seat next to me untaken, i was left to enjoy my (somewhat messy) pasta salad as i listened to my ipod and read the further adventures of Belle de Jour. Hoping the elderly gentleman sat behind me couldn't see that I was reading about cock-sucking and cum facials.

At Wakefield, a guy about the same age as myself took the next to me. He was handsome in that indie-boy, unshaven, scruffy kind of way. After about half an hour of reading his book, he fell asleep on the fold-away table. 15 minutes into his slumber, i couldn't help but notice the bulge in his jeans. We're not just talking a semi here either, this was a full-blown boner... and i was impressed.

The sight alone, and the desperation just to want to reach out and touch it, gave me a hard-on. I hastily chose to read the GNER magazine in an attempt to supress my disgusting urges, and my cock.

BF text me when i got in: are u home yet bumface? x
I replied: Yes thanks cuntstick x
BF: Meet me at Covent Garden in 40 mins. Be there or be gay. x

I'm going to Covent Garden.